Hope

     I have started the training process. Day 1 is complete as of 3:30 P.M. today. I am an open book right now waiting, learning, and eager to be fully trained. The kids in my house are awesome. They are full of life and I can only HOPE, PRAY, and WISH they continue to grow and become as eager to open up as I am eager to help them. The attitude in the house is awesome. But after talking to staff, that may or may not be a good thing. For that is when we must be on our P's and Q's. My prayer is that the house will keep the positive, encouraging, and motivational attitude that they have had since I have gotten here. Every week we as staff ( Stephen, Jason , and myslef) set a goal for the guys to try to meet and live up to. This weeks goal just happens to be for the kids to be more motivated-for themselves and to keep the other residents to motivated. They are big into fitness, working out, running, and being active-which is an instant connecting factor for me. Once I get fully trained I have already had two or three kids in house tell me they will run with me when I start training for my half-marathon. Back to the topic at hand-HOPE! Like I was saying, I can honestly tell that the kids want so much to change, and we has staff can only push them and challenge them so much. My HOPE is that my (our) prayers continue to flow in and work!
     As you all know I have been blessed/cursed with a big heart. My heart longs for these kids because I can honestly and truthfully tell that they are good kids. Honeslty, they remind me of the way I was/am growing up. The energy the kids have reminds me of the passion for life that I have recently discovered. The balance between grace and action has already shown to be challenging. With this job comes a rollercoaster of emotions. Highs-lows-and every possible emotion available under the moon in between is and will be involved with this job. One of the hardest things about this job is going to be to not take anything personal, last night only proved that. I have been told by several people that letting things get under your skin will make you not enjoy this job. You have to keep the big picture in mind. God is bigger than anything we can or could imagine. If being called a name is what it takes to shoe God's love then bring on the names.
      My devotion this morning only reassured me that there is HOPE and one day it will prevail. If not while they are here once they have graduated. We are tillers of soil, making them ready for seeds to be planted.
    MY DEVOTION:
    "You are walking along the path I have chosen for you. It is both a priviledge and a perilous way: experiencing my glorious presence and herading the reality to others. Sometimes you feel presumptious to carry out such an assignment. Do not worry about what others are saying about you. The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth and abundant fruit will be born. Stay on the path with me and trust me completely."
     As I always do, I close asking that yall start/continue to pray fro Heartlight, these kids, staff and myself. Thanks!
   

Something Special

     As the kids return from break I am staring to get the realization of how unbelievable the power, grace, and love of God can be. I am also starting to realize how amazing and awesome a place like Heartlight is.You could honestly see the joy on not only the kids faces from how great their breaks went, but on the parents faces as well. One of true enjoyment from spending QUALITY time together, not just being together but whole heartedly enjoying one anothers company and being a family again for the week. While talking to Jason Frey, my fellow residential staff and house director tonight, he stated something that hit home hard! He said, "It is days like today, and moments like that, that make you feel like you're actually doing something and making a diffence." BOOM!!!!
      Last semester, I was in a bible study with guys from the Wesley Foundation at Delta State. At one of our first events we were asked, "If you could do anything in the world without any chance at all of failure, what would it be?" Immediately I knew my answer. It was one that is simple, yet complex at the same time (kind of like me). I would 'make a difference and help others'. Done, end of discussion, game set and match. That is all I would want, and simply that's all I've ever wanted in life is to help others and make a differnce. I say this NOW not for slef gratification, but for the fact that if I can help someone and they can see the joy and compassion in me, I honestly feel that I can spread God's love. My devotion this morning: "The world will know Him by the love that you show to one another" (John 13:35). I totally hadn't planned on blogging any of this paragraph but it kinda just came out, but it fits the topic at hand.
     If you were to have asked me that same question two years ago, you would have gotten the same answer, because helping others is something I have always enjoyed, but for the wrong reasons and motives. In the past, I helped others yes, but for self gratification, and the sole purpose that it made me feel good about myself. A pride issue so to speak. There is no doubt I have made the right decision in coming to Texas. As hard as it was to step out of my comfort zone it is the step the strengthens ones faith and trust in God. After all, Peter had to step out of the boat to see if he would not sink. In closing, please continue to pray for Heartlight, the kids, staff, and myself. I can not wzit to see what God has up his sleeve and in store for the next year!!!

Break Week

New Lodge-the lodge I live in.

This week is what is called break week. It is the week between when summer ends and the school year begins. Coming from several staff, including myself, it is the perfect week to have arrived. Not all of the kids are here, but there are some here. It is a good time to get to learn the names of the staff, kids, and even get a feel for how the days usually are run. A quick run down on how the days have been thus far (just for break week), I am sure the school year is different to some degree. Wake up, wake the students up, and they do morning chores while we get breakfast out for them (waffles, cereal, milk, oranje juice--stuff like that). After breakfast we have a morning activity, today was trash run-yesterday was canceled do to run-Tuesday was paintball-Monday was horses. After morning activity we have open time then lunch. Following lunch is evening activity, work activity, exercise/chill/open time while dinner is being made. Dinner then evening chores. The days have been going by quick, but by the time I am in bed, I am worn out!! Like I said this week is a great week for me to learn the ropes of how Heartlight is run and to get to know the kids that are here. attached are some pictures of the cabins and different things on campus! Please keep praying for the kids, staff, Heartlight, and me as well! The biggest obstacle once fully trained will be balancing grace and discipline!



Entrance at Heartlight.

Horse Barn

South-two of the girls cabins.

The school.

Some of the horses. There are 22 of them.

I HAVE ARRIVED

     The car was packed, belly happy from mother's spaghetti lunch and bananna pudding dessert, and gas tank on full-all that was left was for me to say see you later to the parents and head west into the sunset. Easier said than done. For I knew the parents would cry but me I would be just fine, so I thought. Shortly after a "proper hug" from mother, (if you have seen the blind side you know waht I am talking about) I turned and there was father. The man who had raised me and molded me into the person I have become today. The man that if i am half of what he is will be successful in all I do. He was standing looking at me, and immediately I flashed back to after my last highschool football game in which I cried in his arms for what seemed like eternity, but in all actuallity was probably a minute or two. Back to present day: I once again was in his arms, once again crying. Why? The only possible answer I can think of is because all the upbringing, all the responsibility, all the becoming who I am today was about to get in the car and drive five and a half hours west for my first 'big boy job'. After the unexpected emotional see you laters (on my part) to the parents I went to see Chrisa Doss before heading out. She was very quick to point out that I have "crying eyes." I guess my trying to wipe away the tears didn't work very well. O well- that's just the person I am. I was blessed (at times one may say) cursed (depending on the situation) with a big heart.



The Sunset

     Five hours later I was on Highway 80, I think it is, about ten miles from Heartlight driving directly into a sunset. If you know me you know I am a sucker for an awesome sunrise/sunset do to a retreat I went on one time, Driving into the sunset was God's way of comforting me, wrapping his loving arms around me and saying you will be fine my son. I was instantly comforted.
     I soon arrived and began unloading my car. While moving into the cabin I will be living in, I met my fellow residential staff that I will be living with. Jason from Chicago, and Stephen-I forget where he is from. I will begin tomorrow with orientation/paper work. Most of the kids are on break until school resumes so i will be able to get adjusted before they arrive back in full force.

Entrance into Heartlight

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

      A new chapter begins. A new opportunity. A new ADVENTURE! Only this time I am not in control. God has His hands firmly on the reigns. I am His for the using in hopes of bringing someone closer to him. In a hour or so I will begin the 5+ hour and over 300 mile drive to a liitle town in east Texas called Hallsville. If you are like where the heck is Hallsville, it is 9 miles east of  Longview. Still lost?!? Hallsville is about one hour west of Shreveport, LA or three hours east of Dallas, TX. For those of you that know me, you are probably asking yourself, "What kind of crazy, adventurous, wacky something have I gotten myself into this time?" Well I am going to be a residential staff member at a christian based boarding school for problem teenagers. The name of the school is called Heartlight Ministries. When I say problem teenagers, I mean drug, alcohol, and disciplinary problems. I was totally and completely blown away when I went out there for my interview. Meeting 14 year old children that were living the life that these teens are/were living tore me to pieces. For when I was 14 I am not even sure if i knew what drugs were. I was too busy playing sports, trying to be cool, while at the same time impressing my junior high crush, NOT doing/dealing drugs. By the end of my second day at Heartlight I could honestly tell that the kids I had met and talked with were normal kids like you and I were at their age. As cliche as it might sound they had been dealt a bad hand and made some life altering decisions that led them to were they were now-causing my heart to hurt for them even more. If anyone were to tell me two years ago, heck even as of last summer, that I would be one day working at a place like Heartlight Ministries, I would have laughed them into the ground. For I had my life planned out then BOOM!!!! God stepped in with the mighty authority that only He possesses. If you know my story, you know what I;m talking about. If not here is a very very quick summary. I appled to PT school two years ago, but somehow my transcripts from CCC and Northwest weren't ever sent. This led to my application being incomplete and me having to apply the following year. Needless to say I was mad at the Lord, and was at a all time pit in my faith. So I waited and applied again. Got an interview, felt confident about the interview, and did NOT get in. Yes I was upset but did not let myself go to were I did the previous year.  This led me to wondering if PT school was for me at this current time or even at all. This job at Heartlight presented itself in March and in July after dozens of job applications and a couple of interviews, the job was still available. So I applied and got an interview and was offered the job while on the interview. Prior to going to Texas for the interview, I was presented the youth minister job at Our Lady of Victory Catholic Church in Cleveland. Great two jobs now wanted me when two days later I had none!!! What to do!!??! About a week later only a short and restless nights sleep after I was on the verge of loosing all control of my tears while talking to mom and dad because I was completely and utterly confussed on what to do. I read a passage from a book about St. Francis of Assisi and how Jesus appeared to him in a dream while he was in the army asking St. Francis, should you 'serve the servant' or 'serve the master'. BOOMTOWN!! DONE and DONE!! There was my answer. I was to busy trying to decide what Paul wants to do i had lost sight of serving the Master. Yes both jobs would be awesome but with Cleveland comes things that Paul wants, "serving the servant" so to speak. I was to accept the job in Texas the next day! Fast forward three weeks to today. I woke up excited but as the day progressed I got nervous. "Have I made the wrong decision?" Then I opened up my devotional called Jesus Calling (highly recommended). The second sentence says, "Rest in my sufficiency, as you consider the challanges this day presents. Do not ware yourself out wondering if you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to me as we walk throught this day together." Instant relief. The Lord has got my back as He always has only if I knew that two years ago!!! I ask yall to pray for not only me, but the teenagers, fellow staff , and Heartlight in general! Let the adveture begin! JOSHUA 1:9